Verse to ponder

Jeremiah 23:29

"Is not my word like fire, says the LORD, like a hammer shattering rocks?"

I'm going to ponder this one a while, especially since I know some hearts of stone (including my own) that could use shattering with a hammer...

Is it holy fear or just fear?

A discussion with some good friends got some thoughts percolating in my mind. It occurred to me that, whenever I'm considering an objective good that I am afraid of or have some element of fear about for whatever reason, it has never been the case that the fear was an indication of God's will for me. Holy fear is something different -- fearing to sin and offend God is obviously leading me to God's will. With something that is objectively good, though, if I have fear about it, it is almost always an obstacle to my discernment of God's will rather than God trying to tell me something about the situation. And the times that I've recognized that and done what I could to allay the fear, as well as ask God for the grace to surrender to his will in the matter, things have been much more clear.

For example, before I met Michael I felt that I needed to discern about the possibility of a call to religious life. For some reason, I was very fearful that God would call me to this! It sounds so silly to say it, but there it is. Of course God's will for me is going to be my greatest good, but there I was, fearful about it. And it wasn't until I finally decided that I needed to give my fears to God and surrender and look for what really was his will that I began to have some peace. First of all I felt that if it was his will it would be a good for me (okay, not rocket science), and then I began to realize that it wasn't what he was calling me to, but he wanted my willingness to follow his will without strings attached on my part.

It sometimes seems so hard to follow JPII's recommedation -- Do not be afraid! But perhaps it's more simple than it seems.

Fierce Japanese What?

Hannah has been listening to some books on tape, one of which talks about Samurai. She has a new interpretation, however, that may not have much historical accuracy, but really brings amusement into the lives of the grownups around her: Samurai, the fierce Japanese spiders! On the tape, of course, they say fierce Japanese fighters, but Hannah heard spiders, so spiders it is.

She and her cousin, older by 15 months, and wise in the ways of spiders, were playing outside today, running from various evil creatures, including t-rex. Hannah thought this was a perfect opportunity to introduce Samurai, so they then spent a good long time running from the fierce Japanese spiders. Cousin Gabe did balk a bit about them carrying torches and using swords, but Hannah stood firm and won her point.

Yet another blessing our children bring us: laughter.

Restless

Do you ever get a feeling of holy restlessness? Like God is about to do something in your life, or is asking you to do something and you just aren't sure what it is yet? I have that right now. I started the Novena to the Holy Spirit, so hopefully that will help to clarify things. Or perhaps God is merely hinting that I get off my duff and clean the whole house...this feeling is almost like the nesting feeling of pregnancy.

I certainly need to work on turning over more of my time to the Lord, if only just as an offering at the beginning of an activity. It's important that we make our offering in the morning, but I should not just forget God until the evening after that offering...I suppose I don't entirely forget him, but I am feeling very drawn to giving more of my time over to him. Perhaps that is what it is. It will be interesting to see what the next couple of weeks bring.

A Sense of Humor

Haha. Did I say "return to health"? Haha. That's a good one!

Okay, Naomi came down with an ear infection this week that meant that she had to have antibiotics. And she hates getting them. And she had several 20-minute screaming episodes that scared the dickens out of her mom. This is all besides the temperature of 104.6 that got the whole thing started. Okay, enough details. It's been a rough week.

But strangely enough, either I'm getting worn down or I'm learning something, because I handled everything much better this week -- especially towards the end of the week, when I'd gotten some practice with the screaming episodes. I even was caught up on the laundry by Thursday afternoon, switched from winter to summer clothes for the girls and I, and made a trip to the store to get a few summer essentials for Hannah, who doesn't have hand-me-downs to grow into.

So thank God for adversity, I suppose, since it's the only way to learn to deal with adversity. And I did better. Not a perfect job, of course -- far from that. But I remembered to pray, and I rested, and I enjoyed the little things.

I took the girls to a new park yesterday and helped Naomi slide down the slide over and over as she giggled aloud. I watched Hannah as she climbed and balanced and jumped and played. I remembered to bring a snack. It was fun.

Naomi is much better, and I'm very grateful for that. And we're not doing the planned activity with several other families this afternoon, since two of those families have colds. I mean, adversity is one thing, and sheer idiocy is another.

Gratitude

There is really nothing like illness to make me grateful for returned health. And isn't that true in most areas of life? I wonder how much I wander around, unaware of the rich blessings that God is showering upon me. When things get taken away, I miss them, and when they come back, I am very grateful, but I realize that I should try to be grateful more often without having to suffer the loss first.

So I will try for at least a week to come up with something new each day that I'm grateful for -- that hasn't been taken away recently. Something that's a fixed part of my life -- or as fixed as things in a passing world ever are.

For today, I'm grateful for Hannah's swimming lessons. She's got an amazing teacher, she's learning a ton and is not afraid of going under water any more, and she's having a great time. Thank you, God, for Hannah's swimming lessons.

(Incidentally, Naomi is grateful for Hannah's swimming lessons, too...although she would be more grateful for her own swimming lessons! When she turns two...)

Enjoying the little things

This morning I was sitting in the living room with my children, when Hannah decided she had to go potty.

"Mama, please keep an eye on Naomi while I go potty."

"Okay, Hannah."

How sweet.